That time is NOW

It is here.  Now is the time. You are as good as you will ever be in how you are ready to tackle that thing.  Sure you can be a little stronger, a little faster or smarter or prettier but even that version of you is not ready because you keep thinking of another thing-- another requirement to make you whole.  Only if there is $10,000 more in your bank account; or only if you have a perfect girlfriend or husband and you aren't depressed.  Only if your car is paid off, or that you can finally afford the BMW M3-- then you will be ready.  Perhaps you just haven't found that 1 perfect element, and then your success can finally follow.

I know that is how I had been thinking with how perhaps there is a better time.  A more suitable moment to act.

It's been 6 months since I ended my last relationship.  There were many great moments, but it came to an end.  I didn't think it would affect me as much since the split was almost mutual.  But as much as I tried not to, I was devastated.  There were numerous nights I woke up in the middle of the night pondering if I should I get back together to mitigate the pain?

Maybe when the pain heals I can then pick up this blog and make it shine.

But this is me. And only by accepting my struggles that I can finally be at peace with myself and grow. So that time is now and not later.  I must write to bring this blog back alive.

Social Insight

The number of US unemployment benefits applications rose by 7,000 last week, increasing the adjusted total number of  reported unemployed benefits claims to 343,000 (according to the Boston Herald, July 25, 2013).  With the number of unemployment claims reaching a new high, job seekers now face fierce competition in a depressed market with too few jobs available.  In this employer-driven market with more job applicants than there are jobs, most job seekers find themselves walking into a mountain of frustration that causes self-doubt and results in prolonged unemployment or settling for a job that is not ideal.

Even though the unemployment rate is high, we are also fortunate in that there are cutting-edge technologies at our disposal.  For the first time in history, people can browse for jobs on their phones by taking advantage of mobile applications offered by Monsters.com, CareerBuilder.com and other similar job search sites.  In addition to being able to view job listings, these sites also provide information such as how to write a resume and how to manage interviews.  I used to pay attention to these tips and suggestions, as they are critical in determining success or failure.  However, the jobs listed on these websites are often not good jobs. Also, many of the posting are for positions managed by third-party headhunters who do not work for the actual company and therefore does not know the nuances of the company or specifics of the job. I also find that much of the advice offered on these sites lacks a certain element that is vital to the execution of their advice.  For the longest time, I could not pinpoint the missing element. It was not until I transitioned from an IT career to a career in counseling that I realized the important role social intelligence plays in securing a job.

Enter Social Insight

While it is possible to coach someone in writing a resume and how to best answer common job interview questions, there is no shortcut to mastering social intelligence.  For example, you can easily follow a script to answer questions like “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” or “What are your weaknesses?”  However, many job seekers are ill prepared to answer difficult questions that are designed to assess competency or level of confidence in performing a task.  In addition, there is very little information available on how job seekers should handle the smoke screen or tactics used by companies that try to avoid giving a straight answer.

Social intelligence is not an academic discipline that is taught in the classroom yet we cannot live without it when we interact with others.  For example, say you are interested in buying a new car at a dealership. Most of us are aware that the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP) is not the actual price you have to pay to purchase a vehicle.  Yet you cannot expect the salesperson to tell you that; and even if he does, he will not tell you how much lower he will be willing to go.  And you certainly will not find an answer from academia or from your state legislature.  For most of us, how well we bargain depends on our social intelligence.

Finding a good job or a career requires a high degree of social intelligence. The good news is that it does not have to be left to chance.  What follows are the 3 key points I have gathered from my work as a professional school counselor, my graduate school education and from being as an avid reader of books related to this topic:

1. Know yourself and plan all the way to the end.
2. Be centered; eliminate anxiety or neediness by not acting desperate.
3. Do not go past what you aimed for; know when to stop.

I will elaborate on each of these key points in my future blogs.

Please leave any comments for me below or email me at: admin@masterydesign.com

Prioritizing your dream

Action is the key.  The hardest step to living your dream is actually getting down to work, and not the part concerning research and planning.  For example, it has been a year since I came to the idea of starting this blog, much time passed in contemplating the content, format and title that a year went by without much progress.  This lack of progress trigged all sorts of external pressure that transformed into self-doubt and made my pursuit to be more difficult.  I had to rally with twice much energy to get myself back on track.

The biggest challenge in chasing your dream is to manage the life outside of your pursuit.  Friends, family, and most of all—a job—are constantly pulling you away from being able to dedicate your time in pursuit of your dream.  But this is no excuse since people with ambitions are usually very apt in completing other tasks such as getting ready for work in the morning, mowing the lawn in the afternoon while finding time to organize a best friend’s surprise birthday party that there should be time for people to pursue their dreams.   And if that hypothesis is true then we can all agree that we have distracted ourselves by surrendering to the daily routines as opposed to facing the difficult task of pursuing our dream that may be obscure.

I am both a witness and perpetrator to the act of telling friends and family about a great idea but did too little to bring it to fruition.  This terrible phenomenon plagues many dreams from actualization and has crushed thousands of innovations and wonders from coming into existence.  Luckily, during my constant tug of war with stalling, I spotted several key components along the way of my pursuit.  The most important of which are prioritizing goals and reframing my own attitudes.   While certain concepts such as reframing is too much to explain in one article, here are the steps that can help you with completing your project:

Prioritizing:

1. There are 148 hours a week.  Create an itemized list of at least 7 activities that take up most of your time with an estimated percentage next to each task.  For example: Work 40 hours (27%), Sleep 56 hours (37%), Watching TV 14 hours (9%), Gym 8 hours (5%), Bars 16 hours (10%), etc.
2. List one item you would like to complete in a year.  For example: finding a new job, starting a business, finding a spouse, etc.
3. Now incorporate what you did in activity 2 with activity 1 and you should have 8 items on the list.  Reflect on each of these activities and the distribution of time for 3 minutes.
4. Set a new goal to reduce or even eliminate 1 activity you listed that took up a lot of your time, but more importantly find a spot on your schedule that will help you with increasing your time spend on completing your new goal.
5. List your goals on paper with your new goal being on top of the list and place it to the location or an item connected to the specific activity you are trying to eliminate or reduce the amount of time involved.
6. Train yourself to work by claiming a physical location as your workbench that allows you to focus on your project; this can be an office in your house, a quiet room in the library or on the campus of your nearest college, or a coffee shop (as a last resort), etc., and make sure as soon as you have completed tasks that are obligatory such as working at your day job or paying your bills at City Hall that you immediately move to your workbench and put in at least 30 minutes of quality time before doing other tasks.

Unlike most self-help books and articles that focus only on identifying your goals and problems, Step 5 and 6 are critically important since they are the how-to-dos in connecting other steps into action.

I will explain in another post in regards to working with fatigue and emotions that get in the way of doing work.  Please leave me comments below with your thoughts.